extra sized wearing in formal situation

So for the past couple of days I have been posting things of how I have gotten to this point in my life. My jouney is only begining but I have faced shit in my life and came out stronger. I have an older brother who is a Bergie and has been living on the street for the past 17 years. As a kid all I ever wanted to do was chill with him. We were super close and I would literally do anything for him. As fun we would go to shops and steal chocolates, then exchange the chocolates at other shops for cash so he could have a fix! (I still walk into shops looking where the cameras are positioned). All I had to do in order to chill with him was not tell Mommy anything. He manipulated me and mind fucked me in a way which still affects me deeply today. I remember as a kid my Boeta would smoke green and while pipes in front of me, the first time I saw a person Tik out of a massive globe was him. The first person I saw ERT was my boeta. I remember him showing me the person I would not like to become. You must understand that my brother was my role model, an older figure in my life I looked up to. I remember not sleeping well because he took stamp, also coz he was he got locked up multipul times. I look at my boeta these days and he has that lost look in his eyes. Like he is going somewhere but also going nowhere. As much as hurts you must understand that it is his choice and that he wants to live like that. I even told him one day he should call me Boeta! Life is never a bed of roses. People have it tough! You can laugh and have a smile on your dial but Kaaantie you hurting on the inside and no one sees that. Just prayer it does not happen to you! extra sized wearing in formal situation